Thurs Feb 15, 1945

Today has been terrible. Could hardly keep tears back. These days & nights are going to be bad but can do anything to gain Duane's love & make him want me for always. Had date tonight. Went out to his home. Just girls & baby there. Held baby for long time. Duane was so sweet & attentive. Almost like old times. Came home. Both went to sleep on davenport - not long though. One thing in particular is going to be different. Duane wanted it to happen ~~~ & so did I but I couldn't touch him that much if I wanted to - and I don't want to. Not exactly "trust" - I touch him even after everything. But I think that's partly what's been wrong.