Today has been terrible. Could hardly keep tears back. These days & nights are going to be bad but can do anything to gain Duane's love & make him want me for always. Had date tonight. Went out to his home. Just girls & baby there. Held baby for long time. Duane was so sweet & attentive. Almost like old times. Came home. Both went to sleep on davenport - not long though. One thing in particular is going to be different. Duane wanted it to happen ~~~ & so did I but I couldn't touch him that much if I wanted to - and I don't want to. Not exactly "trust" - I touch him even after everything. But I think that's partly what's been wrong.
Stayed all night at Mother's. Off work at noon to go to Dale & Edythe's wedding. At U.B. Church at Argenta. Was very beautiful! Was formal & Edythe's dress beautiful! Duane "best man". Reception nice. Liked gift. Duane & I took them to station. Went to Chicago. Duane & I talked from 7:30 till 12:30. Knew something had been wrong. Said he loved me but wasn't sure of future. Will be hard to believe & trust him for a long time. Cried for long time. Want him to go with other girls & maybe will find out but won't do it. I love him so much & this is hard to take but I know I can make it. We're going to start all over and things are going to be different.
What a day! Really busy. "Gen" home. Wonderful seeing her! Is home till she finds out where Jim is going to be. Met Mother at noon. Bought Damask luncheon cloth & napkins for Dale & Edythe. W.E. Duncans here a while. Duane suppose to call but didn't. (She later added:) - tonight either.
Didn't work today. Washed blinds and cleaned room. Been wanting to do that for a long time. Went to town with Daddy to take Ruth & kids. "Mart" here in aft. & went to town with us. Heard that Ed M. had gotten an M.D. Sure hope so.